Do you find yourself overly involved in your kid’s hobbies? Do you ask too many questions about their friends? Are you always “hovering” over their shoulder as they do their homework? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this may just be a case of helicopter parenting.
What is helicopter parenting?
Here’s the thing. We all want to be an active part of our children’s lives. It’s natural to want them to have a life without the roadblocks we’re all too familiar with. Nobody understands this as much as a mom of a kid with ADHD because when you have ADHD, your hurdles are twice as high as other kids. But research shows that shielding your kid from every failure actually is not doing your kid any good. In fact, it can be pretty detrimental because you may end up pushing them away.
Hey, don’t go ahead and blame yourself quite yet. Helicopter parenting is a pretty natural instinct, born from constantly fearing about your kid’s future and one’s own emotional anxiety. I get it. It can be stressful and sometimes, it even takes a toll on the parent. Too often, we forget to take care of our own needs because we’re running after our kids all the time. So, just pause and take a breath once a while and take care of yourself. Trust that your kid can be independent. After all, we all need to face our fair share of failures before we learn to navigate our lives.
Before the guilt kicks in, know that there are other ways you can support your kid and reassure them that you’re there for them. This can come in the form of emotional and financial support, especially when they ask for it.
Start Trusting Your Kid
You child is going to be fine. Have confidence in them and they will have confidence in themselves. This is especially important for older kids, who want to be seen as adults.
To parents, provide support, be present, but try not to control every little detail of your kid’s life.
Parent birds push chicks out of the nest, but are there to bring them back in if they are not thriving until they are ready.
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